The Worst Mommy in the World!!

Have you ever had a day when you wished you could get a "do-over," a chance to go back and redo something you did (or in my case, something you did NOT do!)?? Well, today was one such day, and it left me feeling like the worst mommy in the world!

Sydney's last day of school is this Wednesday, the 20th. When I picked her up from school today, there were a few things that I noticed that made me realize I had goofed BIG TIME today. First, in Sydney's backpack I noticed a little goodie bag. I thought to myself, "Oh, how nice! Someone gave Peeps a goodie bag on one of her last days of school for the year!"

I didn't think much else about this little incident until we got home, and I started going through Sydney's backpack and lunchbox. I noticed that she hadn't eaten any of her lunch, even the cookie I had promised I would pack for her at breakfast this morning. I couldn't believe Sydney hadn't eaten! Then, I noticed her sippy cup was filled with juice, and I had sent her to school with milk. The pieces of the puzzle then started coming together, and I thought, "Oh, no!!"

I then looked at Sydney's activity sheet for the day. Her teachers send home a sheet every day that tells what the children did that day, what they learned, if they ate/slept, etc. The first thing I saw was, "We had a great party today!" My heart immediately sank, and I realized what I had done. I had forgotten Sydney's end of the year party!! I thought the party was going to be on Wednesday!! I immediately ran upstairs to look at one of the activity sheets from last week, and on it plain as day it said, "Our end of the year party will be on Monday, May 18th!" How could I have overlooked this?!?! How could I have forgotten Sydney's FIRST end of the year school party?!?!

It was then that I realized (1) the goodie bag was from the party, (2) Sydney did not eat the lunch I had packed for her because they provided lunch for the children, and (3) there was juice in Sydney's sippy cup because they always have juice at their parties. Sydney had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from school, and as I looked at my precious angel sleeping so peacefully, I felt like the worst mommy in the world, like I had let my baby down on a very special day for her. What did her teachers think of me, what if I was the only mommy that was not at the party, what if Sydney felt left out because her mommy was not there today?? I called Todd, then my mom, and just about cried. I later apologized to Sydney for forgetting her party, to which she replied, "Mommy miss party?" I'm not sure she really realized what had happened (at least let's hope not!).

The ironic thing about this whole episode is that just last night I finished reading a book my mom gave me for Mother's Day (my mom is so sweet that she gives ME gifts for Mother's Day!). The book is called "Mommy Grace: Erasing Mommy Guilt," and it is written by Sheila Schuller Coleman, daughter of Robert Schuller (pastor of Crystal Cathedral in California). The book contains short stories of Sheila's own experiences with guilt as a mom trying to raise four boys, as well as a few stories of other moms who have dealt with guilt as they have tried their best to raise happy, healthy, children. The book is all about realizing the grace of God even when we make mistakes with our children. I remember thinking to myself several times while reading the book, "I don't think I struggle a lot with mommy guilt." Boy, was I WRONG! I think God let today's incident happen to teach me I DO suffer from mommy guilt and that I need his GRACE every day!!

Years from now I am sure that today's little incident will pale in comparision to the other mistakes I will make as a mommy. I am just happy that God's grace is sufficient to cover my mistakes and that my child will (hopefully!) love me despite my imperfections!