What Is My Purpose??

I have been thinking a lot lately about what my purpose in life is, my reason for existence, what makes me unique, what adds to the world in which I live. Since giving birth to my daughter, I have realized that part of my purpose is being a "Mom" and raising a happy, healthy child. I never gave much thought to having children until I was approaching my mid-30's. At that time, my thought was, "Well, if I am going to have kids, I guess I'd better get started since I'm not getting any younger!" Other than that, I didn't really think about being a mom as being part of my purpose in life. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

Now, commonsense told me that being a parent was going to be a HUGE responsibility. It was going to be my responsibility along with my husband to raise a child who was thoughtful, respectful, confident, a Christ-follower, etc. etc. As a fairly intelligent person I realized the significance of being a parent. What I didn't realize was how much it was going to mean to be "Mommy" to a child. From the moment that Sydney was born, I knew what true love and sacrifice was. I knew I was her mom, and no one, NO ONE could ever take that away from me. As she has grown daily, I have been reminded continually of the gift she is to me and that my love for her is greater than any other love I have ever known.

Recently, Sydney has begun saying "Momma" a lot (and "Dadda" too, of course!). Last night I had some friends over for dinner. Sydney and Todd had been out on a "date" together, and when they got home he brought her outside where my girlfriends and I were chatting after dinner. Sydney saw me, reached out to me, and said "Momma, Momma." It was at that moment that I really got the fact that I AM her "Momma." She and I share a special bond that she will share with no one else in life. For that, I am eternally grateful to God. I always want Sydney to know that above all, she is loved unconditionally by her father and me, and there is NOTHING that can take that love away! My greatest purpose in life is to raise her to love God with all her heart and learn His purpose for HER life.

When it comes to my purpose in life besides being a mom, that's where I struggle. There is a group of women from church that meets once a month for fellowship together. At this meeting, someone shares something from God's Word, or their testimony, or something that means a lot to them in their Christian walk. A couple of weeks ago the leader of the group asked me if I might like to share something from my own experience at one of these meetings. I told her I would have to think about it because I honestly couldn't think (and still can't!) of anything to share.

It's not that God hasn't worked in my life or that His Word is unimportant to me. It's just that I have always thought of my life as very "vanilla," very basic, not too deep. I was raised in a middle-class, Christian home, my parents are still married, I became a Christian as a small child, I attended a Christian college, most of my friends and co-workers are Christians, I married my high school sweetheart, and the list goes on. I haven't had any "lightning bolt" experiences in my life (I'm not necessarily wanting any, either!). I haven't been some wayward sinner who was snatched from the gates of Hell, although I do know I AM saved from Hell by the grace of God. I haven't been into alcohol or drugs, I haven't slept with dozens of men, I haven't had some great "conversion" experience that has turned my life around in a drastic way. So, I am left thinking, "What do I have to offer the ladies in this group at church? What do I have to share with them that will impact their lives in some meaningful way?" This has been weighing on my mind since my friend asked if I would be interested in sharing at one of the meetings. I am still thinking about it, and I honestly don't know if I will accept her offer to share or not.

This all leads me to think that there has to be more to my purpose in life than just being a mom. What does God have in store for me? How can He use me? I know the best way to discover this is through prayer and reading God's Word daily. I will admit that I struggle to find time to do these things. It is my greatest weakness as a Christian. I know that only by taking time to be still and quiet before God will I learn what He has in store for my life and how He wants to use me. I am open to what God wants my purpose to be, and I am excited to discover what that is!!!