Something That Made Me Think

Today I was reading a recent devotional from the Proverbs 31 Ministry. This particular devotional really struck a chord with me and made me think about the priorities in my life:

Her Children Arise and Call Her Busy

12 Jan 2009 Sandy Cooper, She Speaks Conference Graduate

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." I Thessalonians 4:11&12 (NIV)

"Mom, will you please tell me a story?" my eight-year-old daughter asked me recently. It had been one of those insanely packed days, full of errands, chores and activities… and it wasn't over yet. My mind strained to keep everything in order for the remaining events we had planned for the evening. I was coordinating our homeless outreach followed by plans to attend my husband's softball game. Kids had to be fed, pottied, properly clothed, and in the right places at the right times. I had to remember to bring supplies, snacks, drinks and driving directions to our various destinations. There was no brain reserve left for creative stories.

"I'm sorry, honey. I can't tell you a story right now. I just have too much on my mind.""That's okay," she said. "I'll tell you a story. Once upon a time," she began, "there was a very busy mom."Uh oh. This ought to be interesting…"She woke up every day and she was tired. She made a big pot of coffee and went into her room to pray. She prayed and prayed and prayed…but nothing happened. She did the laundry and went to Target and to the grocery store where she spent lots of money. She made dinner and cleaned the house. She went to help the homeless children. At the end of the day, she was still tired so she went to bed. The end.

"Wow. I'm like a twisted version of the Proverbs 31 woman, only much less effective.I managed to fake a smile and kiss my precious daughter on the head as I blinked back tears. Is that really how she sees me? As a tired woman with a futile prayer life? Overwhelmed and overscheduled?

I had always taken pride in the fact that I wasn't busy. Years ago I learned to say "no" to activities that ate into our family time. I value simplicity and solitude. I had even taught Bible studies about it! Yet, somehow in the midst of my un-busy life, I managed to get very busy. And now the children were taking notice. This was something I promised myself would never happen.

That night I couldn't sleep (a very rare thing for me...being as "tired" as I am and all). So at 1:00 am I got up and began journaling. For two hours, I poured out my anxious thoughts to God as I sifted through my schedule to identify where and when things had gone wrong. I listed every activity in which I am currently involved, as well as every household responsibility that was taking up my time. The process was very revealing. I discovered that it wasn't one nasty "culprit" I could quickly cast out of my life, but a series of little culprits to address:

Mismanaged time like checking and responding to e-mails over ten times a day.
Commitments which were longer than anticipated like the freelance job that was supposed to be completed two months ago.
Time management systems I previously put in place, but failed to maintain like my mailfiling system and my "write-everything-on-a-master-list" system.
Piles of clutter in my home which often left me feeling exasperated because they represented areas of my life that were out of control.

That night God helped me identify a few key areas I could immediately cut in order to be less busy. He helped me draw up and prioritize a master list of projects to tackle, as well as new chores to delegate to my children. But mostly that night, He reminded me - for what seems like the millionth time - that my children would only be little for a season. And in comparison to the pages of other tasks and responsibilities I had just written in my journal, my commitment to be a Godly wife and mother stood far above them all. And then He reminded me that He doesn't view me as some kind of "ministry production machine." Nor does He value me because of what I can accomplish in a day. He cherishes me because I am His daughter. When I remember this, I'm much less inclined to add many things to my plate. Instead, I rest in the peace of knowing who I am in Christ and what He has purposed for me to do and be.

Dear Lord, I offer my schedule today to You. Help me remove from my schedule things not in Your perfect will for me. Help me add anything to my schedule that I may have overlooked but is important to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

This devotional made me think about my own life, my priorities, and what I waste time on. It reminded me of a day last week when I had a gagillion things to do, and Sydney was trying over and over to get my attention. We were having my boss over for dinner, and I was scurrying around that afternoon trying to clean the house and get ready for company. I am one of those obsessive women who cannot stand for someone to see my home in disarray. It drives me NUTS. As I was cleaning, I remembered the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." I reminded myself that I really am more of a "Martha" than I want to be. I mean, who cares if the house is not "just so?" Who cares if Sydney's toys are scattered around? Who cares if the hardwood floors are not shiny? Who cares if the carpet is not vacuumed? Who cares except ME????

As I was frantically cleaning my house in preparation for our dinner guest, Sydney kept getting into mischief, and she was driving me nuts. She REALLY wanted my attention. At one point I almost lost my cool with her. This devotional made me realize that although Sydney is too young to verbalize in words how much she needs my time and attention, she says a ton through her non-verbal language. On that particular day last week, I really think she was trying to say, "Yo, Mom! Stop for a minute and just PLAY with me!!"

I know I spend a lot of time on things that are not important, and I am trying to reprioritize my time more. I need to spend less time cleaning, less time on Facebook, less time in front of the TV, less time focusing my energy on things that at the end of the day don't really mean a whole lot. What I need to start focusing more on is spending time with God, my husband, and my daughter. A lot of times all three of them get far less than they deserve of my time. I do purposely try to not get involved in too many activities outside of the house because I work part-time and want to be at home as much as I can when I am not working. Despite this, there are still many times when I am "not home" for my family. I recognize that I need to change this and FAST! I am thankful for this devotional that reminded me how valuable my family time is and how QUICKLY that time flies. May I strive to be less concerned over trivial things in my life and more concerned about what really matters when all is said and done.